Who's the Most Fun to Operate On?
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who
they like to operate on.
The first surgeon said, "I like operating on
librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical
order".
The second surgeon said, "I like operating on
accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical
order".
The third surgeon said, "I like operating on
electricians. When you open them up everything is color coded.
The fourth surgeon said, "I like operating on
politicians."
The other three surgeons looked at each other in
disbelief. One of them asked why.
The fourth surgeon replied, "Because they are
heartless, gutless, spineless, and their ass and head are
interchangeable".
I Like Your Thinking
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be
left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first
gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4,
but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a
question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having
ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop
of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the
cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one
is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,
''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked
the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding
ring on...but I like your thinking.''
Who's the Boss?
A young couple on their wedding night were in
their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a
big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said,
"Here, put these on."
She put them on and the waist was twice the size
of her body.
"I can't wear your trousers." she said.
"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you
ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."
With that she flipped him her panties and said,
"Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them
on as far as his kneecaps.
"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it
is going to stay until your attitude changes."
